Friday, January 24, 2014



Early in our D/s thing we both read the ubiquitous “50 Shades of Grey.” My only other exposure to D/s was reading “The Story of O” several years ago. “O” is a wonderfully written book that I found intriguing, disturbing, and strangely arousing. With its cartoon characters and absurd premise, “50 Shades” is just horrible, but it did introduce us to the concept of a contract. I found a copy of the blank contract on line and made copies for girl and I to complete. Our passage into D/s revealed more to me about my girl’s mind than her body. I had touched the most intimate corners of her body, and with the contract she let me deeper into her mind. Having thoroughly explored her body I was excited to explore her mind and learn what her mind would let her body do. Her answers were somewhat beyond what I had expected. There was almost no limit to what she would submit to, which put the onus on me.

So, our contract was essentially limited by my interests. My primary interest was that she be sexually available for my use anytime, anywhere, and in any manner I chose and in this the contract freed me in an unexpected way. By nature I am a consensus kind of guy. When I wanted sex I would test the waters with suggestive words or touches to see if she was receptive. The ambiguity of the situation was stressful. With the contract she told me she would submit to my desires anywhere, anytime, in any manner. I don’t have to worry how she feels about it at the moment, she’s already told me she’s always mine to enjoy.

There were things on the contract form I have no interest in. Gags were absolutely out; one of the most erotic, arousing aspects of our play together is her vocalizations while I’m using her. No excrement play (yech). No one else would be invited to the party; I don’t like to share. I might get comfortable with floggers, but real whips didn’t do it for me; I wanted to make her moan, not scream.

But my limits couldn’t be arbitrarily chosen.

The theme of this blog is the D/s experience for couples in their 50s. That thing, age, puts limits on me. In the past couple of years I have discovered the difference between the sexuality of the mind and that of the body. The body is driven by hormones and the mind is driven by ideas. The two come together to form the wonderful experience of sexual arousal, but in the 6th decade the hormones begin to wane. Their flow is erratic and even as the mind wants to continue and expand its experiences the body is - just tired. At times my brain is thinking like Christian Grey and my body is acting like Wilford Brimley. In my 40s my body went anywhere my mind would let it. Once the limits imposed by my mind were knocked away by the contract I discovered the limits imposed by the interests and abilitites of this wretched carcass. But I’m not going to let that stop me. -- Captain

We talked early on in our D/s journey about "do we need a contract?" We came to the decision that it might not be a bad idea, clarification is never a bad idea, right? I had to do some real soul searching when Captain presented me with the contract. As I read through the list of what I would do and wouldn't do and took each item under consideration, some of the items frankly worried me. However, while many of those items on the list were things I had never experienced I also have a very strong sense of adventure and truly believe the magic in life can be found in the most unlikely of places, so why not extend that into to the sexual realm as well. In the end I really had no hard limits other than the whole excrement play (eewwww!) and sharing. Looking back, the decision was correct. Absolute release of control brings the most exquisite of experiences.
As Captain mentioned above, there is the age thing for girl also. Women experience times when the O can be elusive. Stress takes it's nasty toll on all of us with much the same effect on either gender (or at least that is my experience.) I also have to add that there are times when sexual arrousal can be girl's only form of stress is a double edged sword it seems. Or there are times when girl is almost there when the phone rings, the dog barks, or something happens and she finds herself swept out of the moment thinking "Oh no. We’ll have to hit the rewind button and start over." Captian says that it just gives him more time to play with me! If it weren’t for our D/s relationship I would worry that he may get impatient with me, but D/s gives me the confidence that he is doing exactly what he wants to do and I shouldn’t worry about his needs – he’ll take care of himself. Yes, sometimes I get spanked for taking too long, but that just speeds things along! So you see the chasing of the O, for both of us, is even more precious, fun, and appreciated in this stage of the game. The point is, bodies will do as they will but that is just life! As for his comment about Wilford Brimley, I say nay sir.....and you are evermore than Christain WhatsHisName ever thought about being and ever amaze me. Sex in the sixth decade is a wonderland, a very sensual, sexual land of delight. Our bodies may not always react the way they did at an earlier age, but when they do they know the road and feel it more deeply! I find girl landing in sub drop land more often than not these days.....O after O and no ability to speak or walk in their aftermath...bliss and YUM.
Our contract has given us both the freedom to fly. Our contract has given us the freedom to fall down and laugh at what happens from time to time. The main thing is we continue on our journey with patience, love, respect....knowing that neither of us would have it any other way.  -- g


  1. Captain,

    It is astonishing to me that I continue to discover so many other couples that have similar journeys as our own. Albeit that the fine subtle details are different but that is what makes us all unique.

    Little Kaninchen and myself never had an official contract but we did review a through contract together as we were trying to discover our limits. I believe LK had 3 or 4 hard limits at the time. Unexpectedly, I had more limits than my LK.

    We reviewed our limits again after the first year and discovered that LK trusted me completely to do as I pleased... Absolutely amazing revelation to me.

    I still have more limits than my LK!

    Great post!

    Mr Fox

  2. Thank you for visiting our blog. I have enjoyed reading your blog since I first learned of it from Desiring Discipline.
    It is interesting and affirming that our relationships with our subs are similar. There aren't many maps to go by on this journey and it is comforting to hear that we are on similar paths as other couples. Do you think you will every catch up with LK, or will she always be a step ahead of you? Bunnies are like that you know.

  3. Excellent! Love this! Can't wait for DH to add this to his reading list! :-)

  4. Excellent! Love this, and I can't wait for DH to be able to add this to his reading list! Keep up the great co-blogging! You have so much to offer!