IN THE BEGINNING

In the Beginning

There was no dominance. There was no submission. We had no idea we held the seeds of a D/s relationship within us. Renee did like to put her own twist in our vanilla life occasionally. Now and then she would don something skimpy (or nothing at all), put an Aretha Franklin record on the old Victrola, and dance for me. Watching her body move as she danced stirred something inside me and always led to hot, but vanilla sex. The closest I came to a dominating act was to press her against the wall, digging my hands into her hair and completely controlling her head when I kissed her. I thought that was as dominant as a 21^st century gentleman was permitted to be.

I had read 50 Shades of Grey when it came out and thought it was interesting and somewhat titillating. I discussed the book with Renee, and she said she too found it interesting and somewhat titillating, and that was as far as that went. For a while.

When I held her against the wall and kissed her and caressed her body, her moans seemed to encourage more. I knew I wanted more. It wasn’t a burning need; I wasn’t a born Dom straining to burst forth. It was more like a curiosity of what it would be like to play the role of a Christian Grey for a night. I hesitated because I was worried about what she would think of me. Would she think I was sick, a pervert - or a dominant man who had finally come to take from his woman what was his? Would I frighten her, or arouse her? At the time it seemed risky and a huge step to take.

One evening I threw caution to the wind and gave my nascent Dom his rein. It took a lot of courage and at least one Martini. She was wearing something skimpy and dancing. I sat at the bar with my drink and ordered her to bend over the table. She did - and I detected a little grin on her face. I stood beside her and held her head down with my left hand and caressed her bottom with my right.

I rather gingerly slapped her bottom.

“This,” I said, “is mine.”

I spanked her some more, it was nothing compared to the spankings she gets now, but it seemed so risqué at the time. I was alert for her reaction to every blow. She didn’t object, and I became bolder.

“Spread your legs!” (How many times have I commanded that since that night?)

I moved my hand between her legs and probed inside her.

“This. Is mine.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

I moved a finger to her ass and pushed inside.

“This. Is mine.”

Again, a whispered, “Yes.”

I sat back at the bar and told her to come to me. My girl, who had been all grins and giggles early in the evening was very somber now.

“Give me your tits,” I commanded.

I pulled some ice out of my drink while she exposed her breasts to me.

“Give me the right one.” And I reached for the one on MY right. My gruff, commanding demeanor suffered a little in the comic confusion while we straightened out which titty I was going to play with.

I recall a little thrill from hearing the sharp suck of air through her teeth as I applied the ice to her nipple. I was to become addicted to that sound, whether it comes from the sting of a flogger or - well, we’ll talk about the rest later. I played with her nipples a minute or two before leading her to the bedroom for some good old vanilla fucking.

Renee’s encouraging reception of my Dominance during that event (I guess it would be called a small “scene” in D/s parlance) gave me the courage to continue, if somewhat gingerly. Spanking became almost routine, but I wasn’t fully comfortable with it. I had been taught from an early age how to treat women. There was nothing in my upbringing that said this spanking, this dominance, this ownership was acceptable, but it seemed to be more than acceptable to Renee; she desired it. It was not easy to put what I had been taught about women aside and learn how to relate to THIS woman.

I went to the supermarket (yes, the supermarket) to buy toys for us – a silicone baster, plastic fork, spatula, and from the kid’s department some water based crayons to write on her with. Timid, yes, but it was a step forward and we had a memorable party one Sunday afternoon with our new toys and the markers, a bowl of fruit, and a bottle of champagne. It seemed so decadent.

She was patient and encouraged anything I wished to experiment with, and my confidence increased. Within a few months I would commandingly put her on her knees and order her to service me orally. I was routinely tying her to the bed, doing all manner of things to her body before I spanked and fucked her.

My dominant behavior escalated with every new activity. Renee was receptive to everything I could imagine and even dropped hints of things she had in mind. We progressed in baby steps, always pushing to do something new, spank harder, to find a different toy. We found toys and activities that we liked and wanted more of and things that were not to our taste. I probably threw away as many toys as I bought in those first few months.

The concept of punishing my sub was and is difficult for me. Blogs and DS/SM erotica are rife with Doms punishing their subs. I didn’t see any reason why I should punish this grown woman whom I loved dearly. When I spank her, flog her, tie her up, and savagely fuck her I do it only out of love and the joy of sharing this life with her. (Try saying that out loud.) I only punish her for infractions of the rules relating to the D/s part of our lives.  Sometimes she neglects to kneel for me in the morning, or fails to wear the lingerie that I’ve told her to wear. My natural inclination is to forgive, but she wants and needs to be kept in line. Punishment is always quick and decisive and once it is over all is forgiven. That has been a huge revelation for me, and I have considered bringing punishment into our daily lives for that reason. With quick and resolute punishment there are no lingering resentments left smoldering in the background for days. Disagreements, disappointments, or bad behavior is dealt with immediately and conclusively and you move on.

Our D/s existence does spill over to our every day life, but it doesn’t dominate it and we try not to make it obvious to those around us. Daily life – that’s the subject for another post.

How did D/s start for you, dear reader? Were you all-in from the beginning, or did you enter the lifestyle with caution? We would love to hear your stories.

 

He took me in hand.

Renee here. 

How do you know there is a longing for something...something you can't put a name to....deep within your being? My entire adult life had felt, sexually, like a never ending question mark. It wasn't like I didn't love sex, there was just a deeper need, a deeper lust, a yearning that vanilla just didn't begin to touch. But at 50++, the vanilla sexual relationship with Captain came closer to answering that need than I had ever been. He genuinely accepts, loves me and my body for who and what it is. That fact was a first in a lifetime experience in itself.

We both read 50 Shades and caught a mild case of the "what ifs."

The moments that change you forever happen in the blink of an eye sometimes. Captain leaning me over the table and the first slap of his hand on my exposed bottom was one of those moments for me. It was like I had finally landed in the right airport after flying in circles for years. He is correct that there was a bit of a smile on my face upon being given the order to bend over the table. What that bit of a smile hid was a woman who was about to step willingly onto the next page. I had no idea what "the next page" would look or feel like but I was ready. Captain alludes to his thoughts of hesitation and wondering what I would think. In my eyes, I never saw that hesitation, I only saw myself let by the hand of the only man I have ever truly trusted and I knew I was safe.

The mood changed immediately to one of his dominance and my submission. "This is mine," pronounced for the first time distinctly rings in my ear to this day. It is my most treasured of memories. The ice on my nipples for the first time can be felt simply by closing my eyes, the feeling of his hand as he walked before me...leading the way to the bedroom returns to me whenever he takes my hand. He can lead me anywhere, take from me whatever he chooses in whatever manner that pleases him. That night and those first steps were the road ahead, a road we chose to go on together.

As our journey has continued, he has became a very loving yet very strong Dom that commands with a firm hand. My infractions are met with much needed discipline but lessons I must learn, he is always fair and explains where I went off track. The D/s relationship between us has grown so organically, brings more fulfillment and joy as time passes.

Our sexual life has blossomed into a myriad of scenes, new experiences, new rituals... I can only speak for me, but being bound by his ropes and sent to my knees to service and worship him orally is so intense and exciting. His voice telling me to meet him in the playroom and telling what position I am to meet him in sends chills down my spine and sends my mind reeling. The first crack of a riding crop on my exposed behind throws my entire body into a state of pleasure that I don't really have words for.

This is our journey, the way we began.  As we grow in this road there will be new pleasures he will want to try, I will also give voice to things I want to try, there will be bumps in that road, there will be new heights of D/s to be reached.....we are at 50++ just beginning. I hope we live to be 100 and try everything, love it all, and leave this earth knowing.....wow....what a ride that was.

So there began our journey, we would love to hear others’ stories,  each story is unique and precious, please share.  Thank you for letting us share ours with you.

  

Ever his.....renee

DO AS I SAY

The Captain's Requirements

As her Dom, I was free to require some changes in Renee’s habits as she transformed into “girl,” my sub.

First on the list was her underthings. As a rule she wore those bras with the styrofoam cups that hid any suggestion that she had breasts. Renee/girl has the most beautiful, perfect breasts and I would not stand for having them hidden away. I wanted to see her nipples reaching for me whenever I looked at her, so I forbade her to wear bras. 

Next to go were the sensible, industrial grade underpants. No longer would she cover her beautiful pussy with “underwear” from Tractor Supply. From now on she would wear “lingerie”  -- panties that were pretty and worthy of her body. And she would stop using the word “underwear.” The Captain’s girl wears bras and panties – lingerie, not underwear. Of these three requirements, eliminating the word “underwear” from her vocabulary has been the most challenging for her.

I enjoy the no-bra rule immensely. It is a perfect act of submission, constantly reminding her that I am in charge of these decisions now. She was initially uncomfortable displaying her femininity, but I demand it and she submits regardless of the discomfort. This effect has diminished somewhat as she has gotten more confident over the months. Whereas she used to hide her breasts behind rubber shields, she now seems proud of her body and almost dares men to admire her breasts in public.

The no-bra rule has evolved, however. When I learned that there were shelf bras and open tip bras I encouraged her to try them. They lift her breasts up, but the nipple is still free. I like them. I love the twinge of arousal I get from looking at girl when we are out at a restaurant or having drinks somewhere and see the hints of her perfect nipples, reminding me of the delights she holds for me. 

A few months ago girl requested permission to order a French bra, and I approved. The new bra was tastefully colorful, with lace and fancy, girly things. When she modeled it for me I immediately approved. Without padding the thin bra reveals a delightful hint of nipple under her tops, so I agreed that she could wear them on some occasions. This opened the floodgates and her dressing room is now awash in fancy bras and panties from France and Italy.

Another of my requirements was that she groom the kitty right down to the roots. She has a beautiful pussy and I don’t like it to be hidden by anything. Shaving every day is sometimes a challenge for her, but the results are worth it. I spend a lot of time down there, licking and kissing, so I want it smooth and clean at all times. At this point I can’t imagine seeing her with hair down there. She has tried several methods, but it seems a plain old multi-blade razor is the fallback tool. On special occasions I will to the shaving, to make sure the skin is smooth and there are no cuts.

A final 24/7/365 requirement is that she make herself available for my pleasure at all times. When she feels my hand on the front of her thigh she is supposed to spread her legs. When I reach for her breast she is supposed to remove any impediment so I can enjoy them.  This has been a difficult requirement for her. I don’t like punishing my girl, so she doesn’t experience much harsh treatment. But she has been spanked more for forgetting this rule than for anything else.

g here

Early in the process of training me to be his sub, my Captain  made a few inviolate requirements of me. The first concerned my choice of bras.  Captain mentions that this change was difficult….and it was at first because g believes she has very small breasts, not exactly flat but two bandaids sufficed for a bra until my children came along.  OK, that is a bit of an overstatement but not much.  When she stood in line to pick her body to wear for this life, g stepped in the leg line twice and missed the tittie line altogether.  However, rambling here, back to the bra issue.  Yes, guilty as charged on wearing the molded cup variety so it looked like something might be there.  My Captain’s first real DEMAND that they go happened in a restaurant.  There we were, just ordered drinks and looking over the menu and Captain quietly but in a voice that will not be denied says “you are to go to the restroom and remove your bra, just throw it away, then come back to the table.”  That voice means now, so off g went, breaking into a cold sweat about going braless.  To add to my discomfort, over the bra I was wearing only a camisole.  Looking back I laugh because g walked out of that restroom with arms crossed over her chest and managed to eat dinner with her arms pretty much the same way.  She was only technically in compliance but the bras were gone….banished into wherever molded cup bras go to live out their last days.

Next came the shelf bra that gave girl a whole new sense of appreciation of what a bra could potentially be!  First, this was beautifully made.  Second, there is something so sensual about the stimulation from the fabric of your clothes sliding over your nipples. I was feeling better about my body.  Captain loved them, girl loved them, life is good.

Then one day glorious day g discovered the world of French and Italian undergarments, no padding, very exquisitely sexy…..and actually fit!  Who Knew?  While g admits that until turning 53 she wasn’t a girly, girl but switch flipped somewhere in me that year and now g is the Imelda Marcos of fine women’s undergarments.  Our rituals include my morning kneel before Captain and asking to serve them that day.  He never fails to notice that the panties and bra and mentions that they are exactly what he expects from his sub.  It is a nice bonus that girl enjoys them also!  But there are still many days when the bra is not worn nor panties either, g has never been a real fan of panties anyway :)

Now let’s discuss the clean shaven kitty portion of the program.  Let the record show that girl, under no circumstances, should ever be trusted with sharp objects - especially in the vicinity of one of the Captain’s most prized possessions!  With that in mind, the search was on for something that would groom the kitty and not leave it cut to ribbons.  Waxing (g loves pain given by Captain, relishes it in fact….but ripping hair off of kitty, uh - no), I discovered I am allergic to hair removal creams made specifically for that portion of the body, tweezers (oh, yes, tweezers...when Captain says so be it….so be it, but alas this takes a verrryyy long time.)  Electrolysis is not off the table but haven’t gone there yet.  Last week my ever mindful Captain found a vibrating, three blade razor that works well and wonder upon wonders...no cuts.  How would one put a bandaid on the kitty, anyway?  A question that has been pondered many times.

As with all things, the Captain has been spot on in his requirements.  g is happier with the skin she now lives in and loves that he loves my body the way it is.  

I do want to make one comment on Captain’s journal.  g doesn’t necessarily dare men to look at her breasts, it is more of an inevitability - she  is 6’2” or 6’3” in high heels. It is difficult to hide in a crowd.

Now to Captain’s final point, that when he touches g’s thigh she is to open them immediately, or when he wants to play with any other part of g’s body it is to be made available, like now (or yesterday if possible).  He is absolutely correct that getting this down to a science is taking some extensive training and has taken a toll on g’s backside.  Everyday is better though and g has even opened her legs when dead asleep….there may be hope yet.

Until next time….

g

"O" THE WEEKEND!

g:

Our weekends are usually pretty wonderful, peacefully spent together with no interruptions....just us, the dogs, this home.  However this weekend had something different in store due to Captain's sensual plans. Friday evening after dinner, Captain said "girl, you need to take a bath before you go to bed."  
???.....Yes, I had taken the day off to help my daughter clean her house and got a little dusty but I didn't think I was that bad.  Ok. Captain requested girl take a bath, so bath it was. I came out of the bath in my winter jammies and sat beside him on the couch to watch a bit of television with him. After about 20 minutes "It's time for you to go to bed" was the order given.  Ok, so off to bed with him close behind.  As I got into bed, he covered me up, gave me a kiss - and then pulled out a rope and tied my left wrist to the bed! "This weekend," he stated "this girl is mine. REALLY mine."...flutter of stomach....gulp....oh my.  He then walked out of the room and leaving me tied to the bed to go to sleep. 

Ah, but not for long.....I woke to my jammies being removed, Captain crawling between my legs...tongue, fingers everywhere, a sensual fire storm.  Bliss...is girl dreaming...no.  It was my Captain taking what is his.  It amazes me how he plans, waits until the perfect moment and then, with precision, executes his plan.  After one of the most explosive O's girl has ever had, he sends me back to sleep.  He leaves to go back to reading, leaving my entire body in a state of mindless bliss.  At some point later he came to bed but girl was out like a light.

But not for long.  girl is tethered to the bed and has to use the bathroom!  Yee GADS...what to do?  A request is made to go to the bathroom and what does Captain do?  He unties the ropes from the bed and leads me to the bathroom by my ropes. And stands there, holding my tethered hands while I sit on the toilet and take care of business! Then back to bed it is and back to sleep.

Again, not for long....girl awakens to her Captain hovering above her, growling, urgent electricity filled the room.  Tis girl’s time to give what he already owns.  When Captain is like this, he is undeniably going to take what he wants in whatever manner he chooses.  And soon he is buried in me, girl was sound asleep but fully awake in a nano second....bodies that know what they want without question or the benefit of time to think....bliss....bliss and more bliss.  This weekend is amazing – and it’s only 3 AM Saturday.

g woke up feeling like "is there a marathon I can run today, I feel fabulous today!" The rest of Saturday passes with quiet pursuits at home, something we both love.  There is not much talk, but major amounts of peace.  Life is definitely good!  But a question hangs in the air all day. What is on the Captain’s mind? Will he use his girl again? How? Where? When?

The question remained unanswered and Sunday arrived. Over coffee I cautiously ask what he is up to today (typical question,) to which he replies "after we go to the play room I will probably do some work."  We are blessed to have a real playroom, complete with toys, treasure chest....it is a room for one purpose only.  He also mentions that he plans for us to be there in two hours.  So I head to the shower, a man that has planned this weekend to the tiniest detail deserves nothing less than the best I can be.  So after a long bath, complete attention to the details that matter the most to him, the moment to be waiting has arrived.  girl loves this moment, the waiting, the clearing of every thought except for him...meditation with open hands waiting patiently for him.  My Captain appeared, the treasure chest was opened, the flogger, the whip, and more appeared and the next part of Sunday was just pure pleasure...carnal travels to a playground complete with toys, girls backside being pinked and a very happy satisfied Captain.  YUM!  There is something so special about that room, that space that we mentally enter when we are there.  Nothing but service to please Captain, which in turn pleases me....utterly.

And as I said "O" the weekend! 

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One of my hobbies is photographing Renee

Captain:

G recalls the weekend somewhat differently than I.

But let’s start at the beginning.

Due to the unpleasantly cold weather we were inside all week. She, padding around the house dressed like a snow bunny, accentuating her long slender legs with her tights and knee socks and thick bulky sweaters during the day. How well I know the delights she concealed under all that clothing! In the evening she wore her goofy orange onesies that are curiously sexy in that I can see her hips move sensually against the material when she walks. And of course she is careful no to keep them zipped up too far in front. she had kept her Captain in a near constant state of distraction, if not arousal, for days. Something had to give.

We had slipped a bit toward vanilla land over the past weeks and I had in mind a weekend for girl to regain her submission and experience it more completely. Friday I texted her from the office and instructed her to put in her Kegel balls, “It’s going to be one of those weekends.” The Kegel balls are a pair of connected

Kegel balls

hollow silicon balls with weights inside that fit inside her. The metal weights bounce around as she moves. Wearing them is an act of submission intended to focus her mind “down there.” When I arrived home g had the full array of our internal toys on the counter, including – to my dismay - the balls she was supposed to be wearing. I am not a Dom who is quick to punish disobedience, especially if there is a chance it is mere miscommunication. However, I decided to not give her the opportunity to disobey or misunderstand again that weekend. I told her to take a bath. I tied her to the bed. And then I went to read and think a bit. I have insomnia and I often spend hours in the night reading and thinking at night.

What I thought of this night was the soft skin, the moist corners, the sweet pleasures that she had kept concealed all week. So, I went to the bed, stripped off her pjs, and took my time enjoying her delights – for the first time of the weekend.

Later, as I lay in bed reading my girl asked in a quivering voice, “Can I go to the bathroom?”  Well of course, but you are not leaving your Captain’s control.

Later that night my desire for her burned ever hotter and this time my body was in synch with my mind. An erection! At this age one does not waste a good erection and I had my source of relief tied right next to me in my bed. Besides, being taken when she least expects it and used for her Captain’s pleasure only is a time-honored act of submission and it was about time she experienced it again. Her description above of what ensued is somewhat different than my memory of it. I hope I’m right, as my goal was not to wake her up and use her. I wanted her first conscious thought to be, “Whoa … I’m being fucked!” I approached our bed and slathered my erection with lube, careful not to awake her.  When I was ready I pulled the covers aside, pushed her knees apart, and quickly entered her. Her first few reactions satisfied me - quiet “ngh, ngh” sounds with each thrust.  As she became more conscious she moaned with pleasure and soon we were having otherwise vanilla sex together.

My insomnia plagued me all night and I didn’t fall asleep until daylight Saturday morning. Saturday was spent sleeping on and off, thinking about girl and her delights but not having energy to do anything about it.

Sunday I awoke with energy and a desire to continue my pursuits of Friday night. I also wanted to take some photos. One of my hobbies is taking photos of Renee and I am always thoughtful of new ways to see her. I told her we would meet in the playroom in two hours, and I set up lights and cameras while she prepared herself. Sometimes it takes a full two hours because she is VERY thorough.

We took photos and then, as girl has related, the toy box came open. As she said, a very happily satisfied Captain used all her delights and took us to the brink of D/s bliss. Nothing defines our roles more viscerally than when her Captain pushes deep inside her most intimate place, his hips pressed tight against her behind, her head pulled back by the hair and Captain growling, “You. Are. Mine.”

SIGNED SEALED AND DELIVERED

SIGNED SEALED DELIVERED

Early in our D/s thing we both read the ubiquitous “50 Shades of Grey.” My only other exposure to D/s was reading “The Story of O” several years ago. “O” is a wonderfully written book that I found intriguing, disturbing, and strangely arousing. With its cartoon characters and absurd premise, “50 Shades” is just horrible, but it did introduce us to the concept of a contract. I found a copy of the blank contract on line and made copies for girl and I to complete. Our passage into D/s revealed more to me about my girl’s mind than her body. I had touched the most intimate corners of her body, and with the contract she let me deeper into her mind. Having thoroughly explored her body I was excited to explore her mind and learn what her mind would let her body do. Her answers were somewhat beyond what I had expected. There was almost no limit to what she would submit to, which put the onus on me.

So, our contract was essentially limited by my interests. My primary interest was that she be sexually available for my use anytime, anywhere, and in any manner I chose and in this the contract freed me in an unexpected way. By nature I am a consensus kind of guy. When I wanted sex I would test the waters with suggestive words or touches to see if she was receptive. The ambiguity of the situation was stressful. With the contract she told me she would submit to my desires anywhere, anytime, in any manner. I don’t have to worry how she feels about it at the moment, she’s already told me she’s always mine to enjoy.

There were things on the contract form I have no interest in. Gags were absolutely out; one of the most erotic, arousing aspects of our play together is her vocalizations while I’m using her. No excrement play (yech). No one else would be invited to the party; I don’t like to share. I might get comfortable with floggers, but real whips didn’t do it for me; I wanted to make her moan, not scream.

But my limits couldn’t be arbitrarily chosen.

The theme of this blog is the D/s experience for couples in their 50s. That thing, age, puts limits on me. In the past couple of years I have discovered the difference between the sexuality of the mind and that of the body. The body is driven by hormones and the mind is driven by ideas. The two come together to form the wonderful experience of sexual arousal, but in the 6^th decade the hormones begin to wane. Their flow is erratic and even as the mind wants to continue and expand its experiences the body is - just tired. At times my brain is thinking like Christian Grey and my body is acting like Wilford Brimley. In my 40s my body went anywhere my mind would let it. Once the limits imposed by my mind were knocked away by the contract I discovered the limits imposed by the interests and abilitites of this wretched carcass. But I’m not going to let that stop me. -- Captain

We talked early on in our D/s journey about "do we need a contract?" We came to the decision that it might not be a bad idea, clarification is never a bad idea, right? I had to do some real soul searching when Captain presented me with the contract. As I read through the list of what I would do and wouldn't do and took each item under consideration, some of the items frankly worried me. However, while many of those items on the list were things I had never experienced I also have a very strong sense of adventure and truly believe the magic in life can be found in the most unlikely of places, so why not extend that into to the sexual realm as well. In the end I really had no hard limits other than the whole excrement play (eewwww!) and sharing. Looking back, the decision was correct. Absolute release of control brings the most exquisite of experiences.
As Captain mentioned above, there is the age thing for girl also. Women experience times when the O can be elusive. Stress takes it's nasty toll on all of us with much the same effect on either gender (or at least that is my experience.) I also have to add that there are times when sexual arrousal can be girl's only form of stress relief....it is a double edged sword it seems. Or there are times when girl is almost there when the phone rings, the dog barks, or something happens and she finds herself swept out of the moment thinking "Oh no. We’ll have to hit the rewind button and start over." Captian says that it just gives him more time to play with me! If it weren’t for our D/s relationship I would worry that he may get impatient with me, but D/s gives me the confidence that he is doing exactly what he wants to do and I shouldn’t worry about his needs – he’ll take care of himself. Yes, sometimes I get spanked for taking too long, but that just speeds things along! So you see the chasing of the O, for both of us, is even more precious, fun, and appreciated in this stage of the game. The point is, bodies will do as they will but that is just life! As for his comment about Wilford Brimley, I say nay sir.....and you are evermore than Christain WhatsHisName ever thought about being and ever amaze me. Sex in the sixth decade is a wonderland, a very sensual, sexual land of delight. Our bodies may not always react the way they did at an earlier age, but when they do they know the road and feel it more deeply! I find girl landing in sub drop land more often than not these days.....O after O and no ability to speak or walk in their aftermath...bliss and YUM.
Our contract has given us both the freedom to fly. Our contract has given us the freedom to fall down and laugh at what happens from time to time. The main thing is we continue on our journey with patience, love, respect....knowing that neither of us would have it any other way.  -- g

Rituals

RITUALS

We have found it important to have a structure to your sexual activity – yes, a schedule. Why? Because as we men age our libidos often wane. Mine has. I just don’t naturally think of sex as much as I used to. When I was younger sex was a driving need that almost had a life of its own. Now, it is more of a pleasant activity – something fun to do when there is time. It is far too easy to fall into a trap of feeling too tired, not aroused, too busy, etc. and to let opportunities to enjoy Renee slip by. But for my mental health and for hers, the girl needs to be used - often.

Our morning Ritual

Every morning after her bath, girl comes to me and kneels, eyes downcast, and waits. It is a daily reminder to me that she is mine, she is my responsibility, the source of my joy, the most important thing in my life. Sometimes our morning ritual is nothing more than a moment for me to stroke her hair and reflect on how much she means to me. Other mornings I command her to service me with a morning BJ. Sometimes I order her into position for me to enjoy a little face time with the kitty, and I send her off to work tingling from a morning orgasm.  Occasionally, that old need of my youth rears its head and I throw her on the bed and use her with abandon. But always, we take a moment to connect and remind ourselves that we are still sexual beings.

Our Affirmation Ritual

Our affirmation ritual reminds us of that we are in a D/s relationship.  In it, girl adopts the pose, knees, elbows, and forehead on the floor, knees apart. I then touch and probe her other parts and we reaffirm that they are mine.

“This soft skin on your thigh girl. It’s mine.”

“Yes Captain.”
“And what is it for?”

“It is for your pleasure Captain.”

‘This pussy is mine.”
“Yes Captain.”

“And what is it for?”
“It is for your pleasure, Sir.”

girl here:  Our rituals have given us a certain amount of structure that was needed not only in our intimate life but also in our day to day life.  Our morning ritual of me kneeling before him is the way we start our day.  We both have demanding careers and this particular ritual allows both of us to concentrate on what is most important in our lives - each other.  From my point of view, I need (yes need) to have the physical routine of recommitting my life as Captain's sub daily.  Before we started this ritual, there were many days that our relationship was not "top of mind" to start our day.  With this routine, we both start out the door with our dearest possession uppermost in our minds.  Each morning I ask if I can serve him that day.  This affirms that I don't take what we have for granted in any way.  And although this is just one of our rituals, it is my favorite because it starts our day with our minds and hearts centered.  

We also have a “affirmation” ritual which Captain sometimes demands before we play. It involves girl with her forehead on the floor, arms stretched out in front of her, palms up, on knees with butt in air and legs spread.  I wait in this position and just meditate until Captain arrives.  This position, at first, made me a little uncomfortable, for what 50++ woman wants her bare ass to be the first thing her man sees when he walks in the room???  But after practice, patience, and knowing that this position pleases Captain I finally found it to be second nature.  This position is where I affirm to him that all of my body is his.  We begin by Captain caressing me between my legs and asking “Who does this pussy belong to?” girl answers “Captain, this pussy is yours and it is for your pleasure.” This continues goes until all pertinent body parts have been caressed, probed and affirmed to be his.  While some people might find this silly it truly sets both of us in the correct mind frame for whatever may come next.  And what comes next you ask?.......Stay tuned :)

May your weekend be filled with bliss!

Getting Started

What do you suppose the alien is looking at?

Here, my partner, Renee, and I blog about the joys, challenges, and triumphs of being sexual beings in the last half of life. Things get different – very different - when you pass that 55 year threshold. The experience isn’t identical for everyone of course, we all have physical, emotional, and situational differences, so we are presenting this blog as the experiences of one couple, hoping it will help others who want to continue to enjoy sex into their dotage.

Renee, and I had a satisfying, but vanilla sex life, but we each secretly harbored a bit of the D/s dynamic in our minds. About two years ago I began to escalate my aggressiveness and she responded with delight. We had spiced our vanilla to the point where she was wearing bustiers, thigh highs, and heels from time to time to liven things up, but our sex was just vanilla with a twist. Then, one day she was prancing through the dining room in a black bustier and something in me let go. I released my inhibitions, ignored my fears of how she would respond, and bent her over the table. And I held her down by the hair, and spanked her. I touched, probed and caressed her body and told her that these various yummy body parts belonged to me. “These soft thighs - they are mine.  This pussy, mine; this smooth round butt, it’s mine; this asshole, mine.” I proceeded to play with her in ways I had dreamt of, but never dared do before, ordering her to pull her tits out, freezing her nipples with ice cubes, then sucking them until they were warm and soft again. More spanking, probing her holes, and finally throwing her down and using her with abandon.  I didn’t know the terms for what we were doing at the time. Later I learned I had Dommed up and used her as my submissive. We had fallen in a rabbit hole that we are still exploring 2 years later.

Renee, also known as "girl," here.  As Captain said, our sex life was satisfying but we both were looking for that something that would spark our imaginations and release long standing inhibitions (and let's face it...if you are 50++ you probably have things that you keep out of sight!)  Captain started being more aggressive with me but still in a vanilla sort of way until the day the black bustier came out!  I have to tell you that the first toe dipped into the D/s pool was an "ah-ha" moment for me.  It was like finding home.  The first spanking left me breathless, wanting more - wanting to give him more.  The ice cubes surprised and delighted me.  Then it hit me, this was for him, the fact that I loved it too was almost secondary. Since the very first time he told me that my pussy, my butt, and all other body parts belonged to him, our “affirmation” has become a very treasured ritual in our D/s relationship.  I find our rituals particularly freeing for me.  As his submissive, I need rituals on a day-to-day basis to clear out who I am and free me to be relaxed and open to what is next.  Honestly, I did struggle with that for a while, but I am by nature a very submissive woman and these rituals release me to become “girl” and make embracing my submission much easier.  As I have given my self over to him for his use and pleasure in all ways, as he sees fit, both of us have journeyed and enjoyed our sex life more than we ever.  Have we tried things that didn't work for us? Yes.  Have we refined and perfected other practices that we both love? Absolutely.  I have never used our safe word, but it is there if necessary.  I think the thing about D/s at this stage of life is we both realize "if not now, when?"  I am honored to be his submissive, I treasure our continued trip "down the rabbit hole".  I look forward to sharing more with you as we progress.