In the Beginning
There was no dominance.
There was no submission. We had no idea we held the seeds of a D/s relationship
within us. Renee did like to put her own twist in our vanilla life occasionally.
Now and then she would don something skimpy (or nothing at all), put an Aretha
Franklin record on the old Victrola, and dance for me. Watching her body move
as she danced stirred something inside me and always led to hot, but vanilla
sex. The closest I came to a dominating act was to press her against the wall,
digging my hands into her hair and completely controlling her head when I
kissed her. I thought that was as dominant as a 21st century
gentleman was permitted to be.
I had read 50 Shades of Grey
when it came out and thought it was interesting and somewhat titillating. I
discussed the book with Renee, and she said she too found it interesting and
somewhat titillating, and that was as far as that went. For a while.
When I held her against the
wall and kissed her and caressed her body, her moans seemed to encourage more. I
knew I wanted more. It wasn’t a burning need; I wasn’t a born Dom straining to
burst forth. It was more like a curiosity of what it would be like to play the
role of a Christian Grey for a night. I hesitated because I was worried about
what she would think of me. Would she think I was sick, a pervert - or a
dominant man who had finally come to take from his woman what was his? Would I
frighten her, or arouse her? At the time it seemed risky and a huge step to
take.
One evening I threw caution
to the wind and gave my nascent Dom his rein. It took a lot of courage and at
least one Martini. She was wearing something skimpy and dancing. I sat at the
bar with my drink and ordered her to bend over the table. She did - and I
detected a little grin on her face. I stood beside her and held her head down
with my left hand and caressed her bottom with my right.
I rather gingerly slapped
her bottom.
“This,” I said, “is mine.”
I spanked her some more, it
was nothing compared to the spankings she gets now, but it seemed so risqué at
the time. I was alert for her reaction to every blow. She didn’t object, and I
became bolder.
“Spread your legs!” (How
many times have I commanded that since that night?)
I moved my hand between her
legs and probed inside her.
“This. Is mine.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
I moved a finger to her ass
and pushed inside.
“This. Is mine.”
Again, a whispered, “Yes.”
I sat back at the bar and
told her to come to me. My girl, who had been all grins and giggles early in
the evening was very somber now.
“Give me your tits,” I
commanded.
I pulled some ice out of my
drink while she exposed her breasts to me.
“Give me the right one.” And
I reached for the one on MY right. My gruff, commanding demeanor suffered a
little in the comic confusion while we straightened out which titty I was going
to play with.
I recall a little thrill
from hearing the sharp suck of air through her teeth as I applied the ice to
her nipple. I was to become addicted to that sound, whether it comes from the
sting of a flogger or - well, we’ll talk about the rest later. I played with
her nipples a minute or two before leading her to the bedroom for some good old
vanilla fucking.
Renee’s encouraging
reception of my Dominance during that event (I guess it would be called a small
“scene” in D/s parlance) gave me the courage to continue, if somewhat gingerly.
Spanking became almost routine, but I wasn’t fully comfortable with it. I had
been taught from an early age how to treat women. There was nothing in my
upbringing that said this spanking, this dominance, this ownership was
acceptable, but it seemed to be more than acceptable to Renee; she desired it.
It was not easy to put what I had been taught about women aside and learn how
to relate to THIS woman.
I went to the supermarket (yes,
the supermarket) to buy toys for us – a silicone baster, plastic fork, spatula,
and from the kid’s department some water based crayons to write on her with. Timid,
yes, but it was a step forward and we had a memorable party one Sunday
afternoon with our new toys and the markers, a bowl of fruit, and a bottle of
champagne. It seemed so decadent.
She was patient and
encouraged anything I wished to experiment with, and my confidence increased.
Within a few months I would commandingly put her on her knees and order her to
service me orally. I was routinely tying her to the bed, doing all manner of things
to her body before I spanked and fucked her.
My dominant behavior
escalated with every new activity. Renee was receptive to everything I could
imagine and even dropped hints of things she had in mind. We progressed in baby
steps, always pushing to do something new, spank harder, to find a different
toy. We found toys and activities that we liked and wanted more of and things
that were not to our taste. I probably threw away as many toys as I bought in
those first few months.
The concept of punishing my
sub was and is difficult for me. Blogs and DS/SM erotica are rife with Doms
punishing their subs. I didn’t see any reason why I should punish this grown
woman whom I loved dearly. When I spank her, flog her, tie her up, and savagely
fuck her I do it only out of love and the joy of sharing this life with her. (Try
saying that out loud.) I only punish her for infractions
of the rules relating to the D/s part of our lives. Sometimes she neglects to kneel for me in the morning, or fails
to wear the lingerie that I’ve told her to wear. My natural inclination is to
forgive, but she wants and needs to be kept in line. Punishment is always quick
and decisive and once it is over all is forgiven. That has been a huge
revelation for me, and I have considered bringing punishment into our daily
lives for that reason. With quick and resolute punishment there are no
lingering resentments left smoldering in the background for days. Disagreements,
disappointments, or bad behavior is dealt with immediately and conclusively and
you move on.
Our D/s existence does spill
over to our every day life, but it doesn’t dominate it and we try not to make
it obvious to those around us. Daily life – that’s the subject for another
post.
How did D/s start for you,
dear reader? Were you all-in from the beginning, or did you enter the lifestyle
with caution? We would love to hear your stories.
How do you know there is a longing for something...something you can't
put a name to....deep within your being? My entire adult life had felt,
sexually, like a never ending question mark. It wasn't like I didn't love sex,
there was just a deeper need, a deeper lust, a yearning that vanilla just
didn't begin to touch. But at 50++, the vanilla sexual relationship with
Captain came closer to answering that need than I had ever been. He genuinely
accepts, loves me and my body for who and what it is. That fact was a first in
a lifetime experience in itself.
We both read 50 Shades and caught a mild case of the "what
ifs."
The moments that change you forever happen in the blink of an eye
sometimes. Captain leaning me over the table and the first slap of his hand on
my exposed bottom was one of those moments for me. It was like I had finally
landed in the right airport after flying in circles for years. He is correct
that there was a bit of a smile on my face upon being given the order to bend
over the table. What that bit of a smile hid was a woman who was about to step
willingly onto the next page. I had no idea what "the next page"
would look or feel like but I was ready. Captain alludes to his thoughts of
hesitation and wondering what I would think. In my eyes, I never saw that
hesitation, I only saw myself let by the hand of the only man I have ever truly
trusted and I knew I was safe.
The mood changed immediately to one of his dominance and my submission.
"This is mine," pronounced for the first time distinctly rings in my
ear to this day. It is my most treasured of memories. The ice on my nipples for
the first time can be felt simply by closing my eyes, the feeling of his hand
as he walked before me...leading the way to the bedroom returns to me whenever
he takes my hand. He can lead me anywhere, take from me whatever he chooses in
whatever manner that pleases him. That night and those first steps were the
road ahead, a road we chose to go on together.
As our journey has continued, he has became a very loving yet very
strong Dom that commands with a firm hand. My infractions are met with much
needed discipline but lessons I must learn, he is always fair and explains
where I went off track. The D/s relationship between us has grown so
organically, brings more fulfillment and joy as time passes.
Our sexual life has blossomed into a myriad of scenes, new experiences,
new rituals... I can only speak for me, but being bound by his ropes and sent
to my knees to service and worship him orally is so intense and exciting. His
voice telling me to meet him in the playroom and telling what position I am to
meet him in sends chills down my spine and sends my mind reeling. The first
crack of a riding crop on my exposed behind throws my entire body into a state
of pleasure that I don't really have words for.
This is our journey, the way we began. As we grow in this road there
will be new pleasures he will want to try, I will also give voice to things I
want to try, there will be bumps in that road, there will be new heights
of D/s to be reached.....we are at 50++ just beginning. I hope we live to be
100 and try everything, love it all, and leave this earth
knowing.....wow....what a ride that was.
So there began our journey, we would love to hear others’ stories, each story is unique and precious,
please share. Thank you for
letting us share ours with you.
Ever his.....renee